Lately I have just had this overwhelming feeling of doing
something (note whenever I type something in this blog I for some reason say it to myself in the tone of voice when people say "the greater good" in Hot Fuzz-I would recommend doing this as well as it makes this post way more entertaining)...as though I am not already doing enough as a graduate student. I am sure that many of you have had the
something feeling...its that feeling in your stomach that you should be doing something important, making changes, having adventures.
I attended a conference a few weeks ago about globalization and the importance of protecting our natural resources...so naturally I went on a few week kick of being a one woman recycling machine. (If you watch www.thestoryofstuff.com you will have the same feeling) And while I certainly hope that I have continued to do a better job of recycling, I didn't get that feeling that I was doing
something, so the high of being the best damn recycler in a city that doesn't recycle at all wore off.
Next I started planning trip after trip that I could take this summer hoping that the travel bug would bite me and I would purchase a plane ticket on a whim and do absolutely nothing but be adventurous this summer. But then I felt guilty and worried and a whole mix of other emotions. I wondered if traveling was responsible (since I have no money and blah, blah, blah) so long story short I instead applied for, interviewed for, and accepted a job for the summer that will take me less than three hours from my current location but will hopefully help me get a job in a year or so that will make me feel like I am doing something.
I also have been having the feeling of doing something in my classes. This one I feel I have been mildly successful at...however, you can only say I disagree with you and here is why so many times before it begins to feel less like a something and you begin to feel more like a broken record
My frustrations of feeling like doing something have been accumulating so much that I have been overwhelmed by the feelings of doing something(s) which are for sure not something even if they may help keep me sane. Every time I walk past a fire alarm...and I mean every time...I want to pull it. I don't know why but for some reason it seems like it would be the most refreshing thing in the world. At least until I was arrested, had to pay a large fine, and inevitably felt guilty for disrupting someone else's peace. Additionally, I have had an ever increasing urge to stand up and spout expletives at anyone and everyone. This feeling is frequently strongest in class, on the bus, in my apartment, at work, on the sidewalk walking to work, at the bar...so basically everywhere.
So to end this post @*$(# @()$*(&%) @)@!)*$#&&$ @)@)*$*$*$^^$ #(#*((#&(@(@#*
